Fact, all girls tell these 10 lies to men when they are cheating.

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1. I’ll call you.

2. I love you.

3. You’re the only one.

4. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.

5. I’ve got to work late at the office tonight.

6. That’s the best sex I’ve ever had.

7. You’ve got the most beautiful eyes

8. No, I’m not married

9. Sorry. I must have left my wallet and credit cards at home.

10. You just have to believe me when I tell you nothing’s wrong.

… And here’s some more for you to chew on Fact, all girls tell these 10 lies to men when they are cheating.

11. I’m ready to make a commitment.

12. Except for a beer or two, I never drink.

13. My wife and I haven’t had sex in years.

14. We’ll get married as soon as I …

15. I’ll be home in twenty minutes.

16. It’s not that I don’t care - I just have to spend more time with my kids.

17. I’ve only slept with maybe ten women in my entire life.

18. I’ve been celibate since we broke up.

19. I could never lie to you.

20. I can still last all night

21. I always use a condom

22. I can help you get a great job in my company (field)

23. I tested HIV negative

24. I haven’t seen her since she and I broke up

25. The only sexual fantasies I have are about you

26. No, I don’t think your thighs (stomach, breasts, hips, etc.) are too big

27. I’m too tired

28. How could you think I’d be interested in her? She’s your best friend

29. When it comes to oral sex, I’m the best

30. I’ve never had any trouble keeping an erection before

31. It’s you and me, babe - we’ll make love all over Europe

32. I’d never do anything to hurt you.

33. I want to grow old with you

34. Believe me, my wife and I live very separate lives

35. Our having sex won’t change a thing between us

36. Don’t worry, I’ve had a vasectomy

37. I’m going to leave my wife

38. You’re nothing at all like my mother

39. Your being a different religion doesn’t matter to me

40. It doesn’t bother me that you make more money than I do

41. Even without sex, we’d still be friends

42. I think older women are the most exciting

43. I’m considered one of the top people (in my field, in the company)

44. What attracts me to you is your mind

45. We’ll split all the child care and household chores fifty-fifty

46. Of course I don’t mind that you didn’t come

47. I’ve never had an affair before

48. You’re the only one who understands me

49. I’ve never been in therapy

50. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me

51. No, I’m not seeing anyone else

52. I haven’t thought about her (old girlfriend) in years

53. How many times do I have to tell you I’m not having an affair?

54. Your career is as important as mine

55. I promise you that I’ll change

55. I want us to remain close friends always

57. My wife and I have an understanding

58. You’re wonderful; you deserve someone better than me

59. I don’t masturbate

60. Let’s be friends first

61. When you walked through that door, I knew it was the real thing

62. I’d like you even if you were a man

63. It’s okay to be good looking, but looks just don’t mean that much to me

64. The difference between us will bring us even closer

65. I spend everything I earn on you and the kids

66. No, I never said that

67. You make me feel like a kid again

68. I’m going out with the boys (to the gym, to the office)

69. I’ll move wherever you want

70. Of course I’m not bored with you

71. As soon as I finish this project (get a promotion, a raise, make partner), we’ll……

72. You’ve got more sex appeal in your little toe than my wife’s got in her whole body

73. It wouldn’t be you and me anymore if I used one of those

74. Let’s pool our assets - whatever is mine is yours

75. I still find you just as attractive as the day I met you

76. Divorce is the farthest thing from my mind

77. Sure, I’ll watch the kids

78. It’s not just the sex I want, it’s being close to you.

79. We’ll be spending a lot of time together when I retire

80. You’re the only reason I’ve worked so hard

81. If I didn’t have all this work, you know I’d go with you and the kids to your mum’s

82. No one’s ever turned me on like you do

83. My boss says there’s nothing to worry about

84. I’ll never tell

85. Relax, she’s just a friend

86. This is just a temporary separation until we get things worked out

87. Your hair (dress, outfit) looks fantastic

88. It was just sex - it didn’t mean a thing

89. Of course I’m listening to what you’re saying

90. Come on in and we’ll just cuddle for a few minutes

91. No, I don’t think you’re fat

92. You’re the woman I should have married

93. I’m going to be focusing on my work for a while now.

94. I guarantee you, I’m not the father

95. Your having kids has nothing to do with my not wanting to get married

96. I’m not ashamed of the way you talk (look, act, etc.)

97. It’s nothing personal; I just don’t like sharing my living space with someone

98. This time I’m really serious

99. Honestly, honey, it’s just for the guys - none of the wives go to the conference

100. I’ll always take care of you.

Cool (18) Fail (10) Funny (44) Gross (12) Sad (8) Stupid (15) WTF (19)

Categories: Text
  1. Jon Copkins
    May 13th, 2010 at 15:40 | #1

    This is the dumbest crap ever

  2. steve
    May 13th, 2010 at 15:41 | #2

    Break Picture Gallery: Doppelganger Edition
    May. 12, 2010
    Break Picture Gallery: Doppelganger Edition! Tila Tiquila holding her melons, a baby tossing contenst, an inbred family reunion and plenty more. Enjoy!

  3. Ruben
    May 13th, 2010 at 16:21 | #3

    I knew I shouldn’t have believed her story about that vasectomy! She -is- the father!

  4. ABC
    May 13th, 2010 at 16:23 | #4

    I must have been cheated by all my girlfriends…

  5. Uhm
    May 14th, 2010 at 03:35 | #5

    Well, maybe you’ll know they aren’t cheating on you if they don’t speak.
    Since they’re limited to very few words.

  6. prags
    May 14th, 2010 at 18:24 | #6

    This crap is bullshit

  7. LP
    May 15th, 2010 at 13:24 | #7

    “I love you” means she’s cheating? well fuck.

  8. Delaney
    May 24th, 2010 at 02:47 | #8

    26. No, I don’t think your thighs (stomach, breasts, hips, etc.) are too big.

    So all guys have breasts now? Gross.

  9. Anonymous
    May 24th, 2010 at 03:20 | #9

    that is the biggest joke of my week lmao how sad is all that most of them are so pethtic and most dnt make ny sense lol

  10. Blahblahblah
    June 15th, 2010 at 10:39 | #10


  11. Anonymous
    June 22nd, 2010 at 02:09 | #11

    if i say i love you? that means im cheating? WTF!

  12. sammy
    July 13th, 2010 at 12:18 | #12

    this is BS,
    i guess i cheated on all my boyfriends,

  13. Eve
    July 17th, 2010 at 21:44 | #13

    nuh uh i say i love you to my boyfriend all the time && i mean it we been together with him for 5 years now

  14. ipnest
    July 20th, 2010 at 20:02 | #14

    My boyfriend tells my this this all the time, and i tell him this. I guess we’re cheating on eachother. Damn i hate this. It ruined my day!

  15. Geee.
    August 2nd, 2010 at 10:21 | #15

    this is craaaap. i never even read them all, got sick of the bs ;D

  16. morfowt
    August 2nd, 2010 at 10:28 | #16

    no wait I think I figured out this. If you say any of these things but LIE about it, then you’re cheating. like if you say “I love you” but don’t really mean it, then you’re cheating. best explanation I could come up with besides “it was all a joke”

    p.s. is it just me or are 11 down all what men say, not what girls say?

  17. TJ
    August 17th, 2010 at 04:48 | #17

    f my cousin and screw yous… 1-10 “girls” say, then 11-100 that MEN says.. -.-* gheesh i’m feeling a little bit like einstein.. unlike some1 who tried to think people would buy this crap…

  18. Lauryn
    December 25th, 2010 at 13:33 | #18

    “94. I guarantee you, I’m not the father”
    Of course a girl can’t be the father. Unless she has a dick, which would make her a guy..?

  19. Bored
    June 2nd, 2011 at 01:19 | #19

    HELLO??? The retard who made this crap is a dumbass… guys would say that not girls?? Who are we dealing with, a lesbian??

  20. Gnarleydudebroham
    September 19th, 2011 at 22:32 | #20

    its obviously just copy-pasted from one about men cheating on their women, and it was probably a joke anyway, why would anyone not think this is a joke? like even calling it crap or bullshit come on once you got up to number 10 you should have realized it was just random shit couples say to each other

  21. susan
    November 8th, 2011 at 21:33 | #21

    thats totally sick!!

  22. alvin
    July 9th, 2012 at 15:39 | #22


  23. alvin
    July 9th, 2012 at 15:42 | #23