50 things guys WISH ALL girls knew ♥♥

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1.We aren’t mind readers!

2.We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.

3.When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.

4.Smoking is the biggest turn off.

5.It never hurts to work out.

6.If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.

7.“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.

8.If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)

9.Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).

10.Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.

11.No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.

12.You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.

13.Girls look good naked so stop worrying.

14.Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.

15.We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.

16.Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.

17.If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)

18.The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.

19.Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.

20.If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.

21.Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.

22.You shouldn’t be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.

23.Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.

24.We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.

25.Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.

26.Giving head is never a bad idea.

27.We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.

28.There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.

29.We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.

30.You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”

31.“The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.

32.Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.

33.You’re probably not as funny as you think.

34.Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.

35.Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)

36.Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.

37.You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.

38.For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.

38.If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.

39.The red light means the video camera is off.

40.A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.

41.Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your
breath fresher.

42,Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)

43.The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.

44.Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.

45.Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.

46.If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.

47.The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.

48.99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.

49.When we ask what’s wrong, tell us or stop going on about it. Saying “nothing” and then continuing to be a moody is entirely unacceptable.

50. Be yourself, guys hate it when you try to act like someone else or some your not, to impress us.

Cool (5) Fail (7) Funny (5) Gross (3) Sad (3) Stupid (3) WTF (0)

Categories: Lists, Text
  1. 0_o
    May 28th, 2010 at 07:40 | #1

    this is completely true

  2. wow
    May 28th, 2010 at 07:58 | #2

    true, true

  3. really?
    May 28th, 2010 at 09:42 | #3


  4. Troll
    May 29th, 2010 at 14:18 | #4

    Some of these are true, some are just stupid, but you get that

  5. Anonymous
    May 30th, 2010 at 00:27 | #5

    Loads of these are really sexist

  6. Ashley
    May 30th, 2010 at 09:23 | #6

    Wow, guys are such dicks. Are all of you only after sex?

  7. Boy
    May 30th, 2010 at 12:04 | #7

    No! It’s a stereotype.

  8. Anonymous
    May 30th, 2010 at 12:27 | #8

    whoever wrote this is an ass.

  9. Umm…
    May 30th, 2010 at 23:04 | #9

    It’s a bit creepy on a level

  10. Anonymous
    June 1st, 2010 at 18:17 | #10

    STUPID !

  11. Anonymous
    June 3rd, 2010 at 09:22 | #11

    I can picture the guy that wrote this.
    Backwards New York Yankees Fifty-Five hat.
    Pink Polo
    White Polo on top of that
    Another Pink Polo
    Plaid Shorts
    Longboard and iPad.

  12. Lulz
    June 6th, 2010 at 10:58 | #12

    with a yellow polo under that…and a lime green one under that
    *2,000 polos later* AND DONT FORGET TO POP THE COLLAR! xDD

  13. photoshop fail,
    June 6th, 2010 at 11:09 | #13

    Anonymous :
    I can picture the guy that wrote this.
    Backwards New York Yankees Fifty-Five hat.
    Pink Polo
    White Polo on top of that
    Another Pink Polo
    Plaid Shorts
    Longboard and iPad.

    Lulz :
    with a yellow polo under that…and a lime green one under that
    *2,000 polos later* AND DONT FORGET TO POP THE COLLAR! xDD

    oh and u guys forgot the fake tan and the duck/fish face

  14. photoshop fail,
    June 6th, 2010 at 11:10 | #14

    @photoshop fail,
    i bet they live in jersey shore.

  15. kingus
    June 10th, 2010 at 14:14 | #15

    very true indeedly

  16. Anonymous
    June 12th, 2010 at 09:42 | #16

    i’m a girl but i think this whole thing is just really creepy. if it was true i would never get a boyfriend because it would just be too weird.

  17. jersey gal
    June 14th, 2010 at 07:12 | #17

    dont hold anything against Jersey now.

  18. Anonymous
    June 15th, 2010 at 07:49 | #18

    I disagree with a few of these… But majority sound true enough LoL

  19. Natalie
    June 15th, 2010 at 21:06 | #19

    hahhahahaha thats hilarious!!
    come on lighten up!! ITs not suppose 2 b completely true but its really funny and theres a degree of truth in most of it!!

  20. Connor
    June 26th, 2010 at 16:09 | #20

    Uhm… sexist much? I’ll be cooking my girls breakfast, thanks.

  21. morg
    July 1st, 2010 at 16:10 | #21

    the only true things in this is 1, 4, 8(duh), 10, 20 (sometimes), 22, 25(so much truth), 36(but we know it makes guys sexy when we cook), 48 and 49. only 10 out of the 50 i would say are always true. everything else is up to the specific guy. if everything is true for him than he is a prick douche.

  22. Marb.
    July 9th, 2010 at 15:04 | #22

    Gawd. Not many are true. =.=, Stereotypicallllllll.

  23. someone
    July 11th, 2010 at 01:23 | #23

    wow who ever wrote this is the biggest ass in the world!!!

  24. Sheriff
    July 12th, 2010 at 10:01 | #24

    I agree, its as if the girls have nothing to say and the guy gets all the controll.

  25. kelsey
    July 12th, 2010 at 16:06 | #25

    some of these are true some are not but then again idk i’m not in the average guys mind you know it would be alot easier if guys told us these things on a regular basis then we know its true!!!! if not then stop stereotyping asshole!!! and this is a little off topic but if guys if you like a girl just tell her and stop being a tease and guys say girls are teases????

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