April 11th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments


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1. Do not abuse the Facebook status feature. It specifically says “What’s on your mind?”…not “What are you currently doing every five minutes of your life”.

2. Do not become a fan of Facebook pages that don’t apply to you. People are just going to laugh when you are joining Facebook pages such as ‘I love morning sex’ or ‘Unexpected blowjobs’ when you are still clearly a virgin.

3. Do not like your own statuses or photos otherwise I think people are going to think you’re a little bit sad. Although, that’s my opinion.

4. Do not send silly gifts on Facebook applications. Yes…we are very grateful you considered sending us a kitten or a hug…but how about sending me something in real life?

5. Do not post attention seeking statuses. This includes making up stories such as your grandmother falling down the stairs to get people to comment and like your status.

6. Do not post indirect, subliminal statuses. If you are in love with ‘him’ and ‘he’ is constantly on your mind, do us all a freaking favour and tell him for heaven’s sake! This includes b***hing about someone without writing the person’s name. We all want to know who the d**khead is thank you very much.

7. Do not, if you have Facebook on your mobile, post a photo of everything you eat during your daily adventures.

8. Do not add someone, then post “Sorry…random add!” on the wall. You clearly thought that person was nice looking…but you shouldn’t be adding people you don’t know anyway.

9. Do not have false middle names. You are not ‘James Bedrock Goldstone’ or ‘Mandy JustinBieber Riddles’.

10. Do not put an apostrophe in your name (such as ‘George Harrold’) just to appear first on your friend’s chat list.

11. Do not tag all your friends in a ‘supposedly funny’ photo you discovered on Google Images.

12. Do not have false profile pictures. It’s an insult to make us think you’re a Pokémon.

13. Do not ask people to comment or ‘like’ your photos of yourself. I refuse to explain myself with this one.

14. Do not have your relationship status set to “It’s complicated”. If your relationship is so damned complicated that you have to identify it as such on your Facebook profile, get the hell off Facebook and go fix your relationship.

15. Do not import your ‘tweets’ from Twitter. If we wanted to read your tweets…we would have Twitter accounts wouldn’t we?

16. Do not inform us you are deleting people. Firstly, no one cares. Secondly, no one is going to request you to keep them as a friend, if you know them or not.

17. Do not use Facebook if you are meant to be ill. Documenting a day of ice cream, chips, video games and jumping on the bed isn’t going to solve anything.

18. Do not lie about your relationship status then suddenly changing it from ‘single’ to ‘married’ to seek attention. We all that your anonymous lover doesn’t exist.

19. Do not ‘appear offline’. If you are not on Facebook to talk and socialize then you may as well deactivate your account. If you are trying to avoid certain people, block them.

20. Do not add someone just because you have mutual friends. It’s a small word…and because one of your friends know someone you also know or…doesn’t mean you know them. This also applies for those who spots someone with the same surname…it doesn’t mean you’re related…don’t add them.

Cool (21) Fail (9) Funny (14) Gross (6) Sad (5) Stupid (13) WTF (12)

Categories: Text
  1. wow
    April 12th, 2010 at 16:37 | #1

    hm. i agree with all. but the random adding

  2. Preston ‘This is gay’ Keogh
    April 14th, 2010 at 00:31 | #2

    What a tosser. Just a condensed list of a young pre teen adolesents rantings about how unpopular he is so he has to attack everyone else in order to attain some degree of self worth. People arent going to look at this and think ‘I’m sooooo glad to have discovered this hidden beauty. I have been using Facebook incorrectly for all these years. How could i be so blind? I must be a dick for tagging people on pictures i know will make them smile and be happy. So sorry to bore everyone by letting them know i’m not deadly ill and that i am recovering well from my illness. How wrong was i to set myself as offline when im not in the mood to talk to anyone and i just want to look around the site in private!’ You sir, are clown shoes! Prick

  3. Anonymous
    April 14th, 2010 at 02:08 | #3

    i agree dude.

  4. Anonymous
    April 14th, 2010 at 02:09 | #4

    # 3 was me, i mean i agree with #2 :)

  5. Vik
    April 14th, 2010 at 10:51 | #5

    I disagree with #19. I’m always Offline in FB because I have IMs for that. The rest, I agree upon, though. #2′s hillarious lol.

  6. ‘Cp3
    April 15th, 2010 at 07:53 | #6

    Yeah there are some FB violations but don’t cry about thigns that you can just easily ignore.. The only things that are bad about FB are the things that the FB designers put on it. Farmville and “love of the day” make me never want to sign on to FB in the first place.

    Why is this stuff published when the writer can’t even re-read his/her work. Damn I hate my country’s ignorance.

  7. grrr
    April 15th, 2010 at 08:18 | #7

    i agree with 12 13 6 1

  8. Vicky
    April 15th, 2010 at 09:51 | #8

    I always appear offline, FB chat don’t work half of the time anyway. I Import my tweets from Twitter, you know why, because I can! Didn’t realise I was upseting the ‘Facebook Police’

  9. Hollaway
    April 15th, 2010 at 09:59 | #9

    @Vicky No need to get all bitchy

  10. Jen
    April 23rd, 2010 at 08:38 | #10

    Agree with a lot of it. Because yeah, a lot of it is really annoying.

    And @ Preston. You’re just as much of a whiney teen as he is.

  11. Anonymous
    May 10th, 2010 at 00:13 | #11

    oh no, my grandma just fell down the stairs…[like]

  12. Shut the hell up Vicky
    May 15th, 2010 at 13:40 | #12

    My name is pretty self-explanatory. Go bitch about something else, somewhere else and stop wasting our time and yours.

  13. mmm
    May 28th, 2010 at 01:46 | #13

    i appear offline often because sometimes i don’t feel like chatting to any one i just want to see whats going on. but i do agree with all the others.

  14. Jen sucks dick
    June 9th, 2010 at 18:16 | #14

    Your a self righteous weiner with delusions of grandeur. Your opinion matters about as much as global warming does.

  15. Somebody.
    June 13th, 2010 at 05:48 | #15

    I don`t even know how to appear offline.

  16. Willow
    June 20th, 2010 at 08:21 | #16

    wow :
    hm. i agree with all. but the random adding

    So you enjoy adding people you will never meet in your life?

    lol This is funny, for all you people who “disagree” and are getting annoyed, get a life XD

  17. LIZZIE
    June 25th, 2010 at 11:16 | #17


  18. leax
    July 2nd, 2010 at 05:48 | #18

    “It’s an insult to make us think you’re a Pokémon”

  19. YAMUM
    July 2nd, 2010 at 20:19 | #19

    is it ok to post funny statuses like jokes n stuff or funny pics

  20. ky
    July 11th, 2010 at 00:51 | #20

    It’s Facebook and there are no “official rules,” so personally, I think you can do whatever you want…

  21. emii
    July 19th, 2010 at 13:29 | #21

    ky :
    It’s Facebook and there are no “official rules,” so personally, I think you can do whatever you want…

    lol its funny but i agree w/ ya

  22. Wooohooo
    July 20th, 2010 at 21:50 | #22

    Guys…these aren’t official rules. This is just a list FOR FUN. It’s FUNNY. This isn’t meant to stop people from doing these things, it’s meant to make people LAUGH.
    Idiots -___-

  23. savannah
    July 21st, 2010 at 10:02 | #23

    lol *thumbsup*

  24. savannah
    July 21st, 2010 at 10:02 | #24

    jk ur stupid XD

  25. Stormy
    August 1st, 2010 at 16:25 | #25

    Dude 19 is so stupid just because I’m on facebook doesn’t necessarily mean I wadnt everyone talking to me I might just be uploading pictures or playing games or something

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