April 28th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

Facebook Fan Page: 100 LIES MEN TELL WOMEN

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1. I’ll call you.

2. I love you.

3. You’re the only one.

4. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.

5. I’ve got to work late at the office tonight.

6. That’s the best sex I’ve ever had.

7. You’ve got the most beautiful eyes

8. No, I’m not married

9. Sorry. I must have left my wallet and credit cards at home.

10. You just have to believe me when I tell you nothing’s wrong.

11. I’m ready to make a commitment.

12. Except for a beer or two, I never drink.

13. My wife and I haven’t had sex in years.

14. We’ll get married as soon as I …

15. I’ll be home in twenty minutes.

16. It’s not that I don’t care – I just have to spend more time with my kids.

17. I’ve only slept with maybe ten women in my entire life.

18. I’ve been celibate since we broke up.

19. I could never lie to you.

20. I can still last all night

21. I always use a condom

22. I can help you get a great job in my company (field)

23. I tested HIV negative

24. I haven’t seen her since she and I broke up

25. The only sexual fantasies I have are about you

26. No, I don’t think your thighs (stomach, breasts, hips, etc.) are too big

27. I’m too tired

28. How could you think I’d be interested in her? She’s your best friend

29. When it comes to oral sex, I’m the best

30. I’ve never had any trouble keeping an erection before

31. It’s you and me, babe – we’ll make love all over Europe

32. I’d never do anything to hurt you.

33. I want to grow old with you

34. Believe me, my wife and I live very separate lives

35. Our having sex won’t change a thing between us

36. Don’t worry, I’ve had a vasectomy

37. I’m going to leave my wife

38. You’re nothing at all like my mother

39. Your being a different religion doesn’t matter to me

40. It doesn’t bother me that you make more money than I do

41. Even without sex, we’d still be friends

42. I think older women are the most exciting

43. I’m considered one of the top people (in my field, in the company)

44. What attracts me to you is your mind

45. We’ll split all the child care and household chores fifty-fifty

46. Of course I don’t mind that you didn’t come

47. I’ve never had an affair before

48. You’re the only one who understands me

49. I’ve never been in therapy

50. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me

51. No, I’m not seeing anyone else

52. I haven’t thought about her (old girlfriend) in years

53. How many times do I have to tell you I’m not having an affair?

54. Your career is as important as mine

55. I promise you that I’ll change

55. I want us to remain close friends always

57. My wife and I have an understanding

58. You’re wonderful; you deserve someone better than me

59. I don’t masturbate

60. Let’s be friends first

61. When you walked through that door, I knew it was the real thing

62. I’d like you even if you were a man

63. It’s okay to be good looking, but looks just don’t mean that much to me

64. The difference between us will bring us even closer

65. I spend everything I earn on you and the kids

66. No, I never said that

67. You make me feel like a kid again

68. I’m going out with the boys (to the gym, to the office)

69. I’ll move wherever you want

70. Of course I’m not bored with you

71. As soon as I finish this project (get a promotion, a raise, make partner), we’ll……

72. You’ve got more sex appeal in your little toe than my wife’s got in her whole body

73. It wouldn’t be you and me anymore if I used one of those

74. Let’s pool our assets – whatever is mine is yours

75. I still find you just as attractive as the day I met you

76. Divorce is the farthest thing from my mind

77. Sure, I’ll watch the kids

78. It’s not just the sex I want, it’s being close to you.

79. We’ll be spending a lot of time together when I retire

80. You’re the only reason I’ve worked so hard

81. If I didn’t have all this work, you know I’d go with you and the kids to your mum’s

82. No one’s ever turned me on like you do

83. My boss says there’s nothing to worry about

84. I’ll never tell

85. Relax, she’s just a friend

86. This is just a temporary separation until we get things worked out

87. Your hair (dress, outfit) looks fantastic

88. It was just sex – it didn’t mean a thing

89. Of course I’m listening to what you’re saying

90. Come on in and we’ll just cuddle for a few minutes

91. No, I don’t think you’re fat

92. You’re the woman I should have married

93. I’m going to be focusing on my work for a while now.

94. I guarantee you, I’m not the father

95. Your having kids has nothing to do with my not wanting to get married

96. I’m not ashamed of the way you talk (look, act, etc.)

97. It’s nothing personal; I just don’t like sharing my living space with someone

98. This time I’m really serious

99. Honestly, honey, it’s just for the guys – none of the wives go to the conference

100. I’ll always take care of you.

Cool (6) Fail (13) Funny (22) Gross (8) Sad (11) Stupid (13) WTF (19)

Categories: Text
  1. Evan
    April 30th, 2010 at 10:08 | #1

    This sounds like a disgruntled woman/lesbian-who-converted-because-she-hates-men who thinks that all guys are evil. Pretty much every single one of these could be switched around to women as well. sexism is still around just because one person decides to be a douche

  2. emma
    April 30th, 2010 at 19:07 | #2

    how very true!!!

  3. crystal
    May 6th, 2010 at 05:50 | #3

    ugh! way to kill my bf’s sayings and him just tryign to b funny 0_o things i try to ignore lol 0_o

  4. Elly
    May 8th, 2010 at 01:06 | #4

    My fiancè has said half of these things to me, doesn’t mean he’s cheating on me -.- I agree with Evan, this does sound like some lesbian who converted because she hates men

  5. ICallBullshit
    May 8th, 2010 at 06:31 | #5

    Not to mention the fact that 90% of these are things that people also say when they’re telling the TRUTH.

  6. travis
    May 9th, 2010 at 02:36 | #6

    wow haha this is complete bullshit list i said many of these things and i have been loyal to her

  7. lolwut?
    May 9th, 2010 at 02:48 | #7

    Really now, I agree with the Evan dude all the way. I say many of these things to my partner and I’m perfectly loyal. Sounds like someone is butthurt, tbh.

  8. Steph
    May 12th, 2010 at 20:08 | #8

    I have to agree with Evan. This sounds like someone that was cheated on and decided that all men are the same. Thats a lie. Men can be horrible, but so can women. Its not all one way, and you cant always assume someone is lying when they say any of these things. Like, “i love you”…that surely cannot always be a lie. Men are capable of loving..This list is just ridiculus

  9. Anonymous
    May 27th, 2010 at 03:10 | #9

    How is “I Love You” a lie?

  10. mememe
    June 12th, 2010 at 11:35 | #10

    sounds like a feminist…

  11. XanROK
    July 22nd, 2010 at 18:39 | #11

    Evan is so right and so is Anonymous.

  12. Kim
    July 31st, 2010 at 09:12 | #12

    @crystal I agree with you, because I was JUST used to my bf and how he’s trust worthy…but I wouldn’t listen to it…someone just has a bad way with their boyfriend or something, or else doesn’t like guys

  13. Buthole
    October 5th, 2010 at 22:34 | #13

    You’ve got more sex appeal in your little toe than my wife’s got in her whole body … LOL

  14. Fiesta
    January 13th, 2011 at 10:30 | #14

    Rubbish! All these words r very common for both sexes. Me personally had said many times at least half of that list to my ex boyfriends and so on.

  15. Fiesta
    January 13th, 2011 at 10:44 | #15

    100 lies women tell men

    1. You are the special one

    2. There is no better then you

    3. You are the best lover I’ve ever had

    4. You are so clever

    5. I will never cheat on you

    6. I never flirt with other guys

    7. For me personality is more important then physical appearance

    8. I like your hair cut

    9. I am not bored with you

    10. We might have a future

    11. Yes I’d love to have children with you

    12. You are more important then my work

    13. Its a girls night out

    14. We dont have any good looking men in our office

    15. Anyway, noone can compete with you

    16. I would prefer to spend time with you rather with my friends on friday night

    17. You are a good cook

    18. Sorry I was so busy that I even didnt have a minute to phone you back

    19. Something is wrong with my reception, I didnt get your message

    20. I have known him for years and we are only friends, you dont have to worry at all!

    21. You are so strong!

    22. I’ve got the night shift, cant phone you as we are not allowed to use the phone

    23. I would love to meet your family

    24. I’ve never cheated on you

    25. Noooo he is not my cup of tea at all

    I can carry on like that more and more, but still think its all rubbish. Anyone can tell the lies, women or men, it all depends on personality!

  16. Anonymous
    February 1st, 2011 at 21:53 | #16

    I really don’t like this, cause it has me a little confused. Some of them are funny, like, “no, your hips aren’t too big”, some of them are genuinely lies within couples, like, “no ones ever turned me on like you do”, and then there are ones which Evan hit the money with, were probably written by some emo lesbian who thinks that all men are evil, like, “I tested HIV negative”. That’s not funny, it’s not witty, it’s not clever, it’s not even being humourously cynical, it’s just crude, ineffective bludging.

  17. Random
    April 1st, 2011 at 11:42 | #17

    Stop being so mad about this. Some is true. Some guys are assholes. Some are not.