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Facebook Fan Page: Things NOT to say after sex!

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To Him

1. You’re almost as good as your brother!
2. A second time? i barely stayed awake the first time!
3. I really wasn’t thinking of him, his name just slipped out.
4. I… wouldn’t pull that string if I were you!
5. Finally, i have to take a crap!
6. So not worth the 50$ your mom paid me to do this.
7. That’ll be $160. Call me next time, baby.
8. Hey, why did you wake me up?
9. My boyfriend will be home in 15min, you should get out of here.
10. Were you soft the whole time?
11. Hmm, I don’t think the Extenze is working!
12. Are you sure you’ve done this before?
13. I hope it’s a boy.
14. Don’t worry, i cant get pregnant, i used to be male.
15. So i guess I’m still technically a virgin.

To Her

1. How come it’s so BIG in there?
2. Do you know what a ‘douche’ is?
3. It’s nice to finally have sex with a woman I don’t have to inflate!
4. I’m not into relationships. Can’t we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?
5. Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!
6. I never saw a girl with hairy boobs before!
7. I’ve been getting these little blisters lately….
8. You wanna do those dishes before you leave?
9. You’re on the pill right?
10. What was your name again?
11. Smile for the camera, honey!!!
12. Those pills protect you from getting disease’s right?
13. Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober…
14. What tampon?
15. Do i have to pay for this?