Rules For Women During The Fifa World Cup 2010
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1. From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sport pages so you are aware of what’s going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations.
If you fail to do this, you’ll be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.
3. I don’t mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won’t have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute – unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.
You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor….it won’t happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on.
And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game” or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”.
If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break-up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me.
In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.
8. Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a ‘quickie’ and that has to be during half-time as well.
9. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
10. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
11. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
12. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” The reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.
13. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”.
I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
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This is stupid
Get a life
Rikki: with all due respect, fuck off
Its funny but not fair! lol
who the fuck watches soccer anyway?
@MR EGNARO
People who have developed their minds beyond American football and baseball.
@MR EGNARO
Pretty much the rest of the world except Americans. Who cares about Rugby and Baseball? Yawn.
lol, I think it’s really funny, but if my boyfriend would send/tell this to me and actually mean it, I would throw away the TV and lock him up for a month (:
mr egnaro is retarded. who the fuck watches soccer? i mean come on it’s the most popular sport in the world.
emfer i would break up with you before you touched the tv. emfer’s boyfriend, break up with her because this thought was even in her head and then she had the gall to put a smiley face afterwards.
@Anonymous
@emfer
I thought I told you sluts to make me some mother fucking nachos! Who gave you a laptop!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN’ OUT SIDE THE KITCHEN!
@emfer
and it’s called FOOTBALL you idiot, you know a ball you kick with your FOOT, not like that mess ‘american football’ where a bunch of fat or steroid up buffons hold it in their hand and run for like a few seconds.
@MR EGNARO
and it’s called FOOTBALL you idiot, you know a ball you kick with your FOOT, not like that mess ‘american football’ where a bunch of fat or steroid up buffons hold it in their hand and run for like a few seconds.
I appreciate the sport of football (soccer), and it is a fantastic game. but Zack rugby is more British than anything else. And those insulate Americans only like American football so don’t bring the sport of rugby into this. Both soccer and rugby are fantastic sports. And the Americans that do play rugby are horrible at the game. They are so fat that they need to stay with American football so they can have a walking break every 5 seconds.
Rugby is a much better game than football.
also, baseball was invented in England
i don’t have to worry about any of this ^^ 1) seperate tv’s and 2) swimmer who doesn’t care about football
who ever created this list is a freaking BEAST!!!!!!!!
@Rikki
I bet you are a bundle of fun at parties…… Remind us all not to ever go to any of yours…
I think there’s a serious problem with you if you’re willing to go without sex for a month for Football. I mean, seriously, if it’s a choice between watching sweaty men kick around a ball or gettin’ laid, I’m throwin’ the frackin’ TV out if necessary.
@Mon937
C’mon, where’s your football spirit? I love this list since I’ve watched every game since opening (and I don’t intend to miss one unless absolutely necessary) but I wish my girlfriend would abide by these rules.. Also, if you can figure out inequalities: Football > sex (if you CAN’T figure out inequalities, football is greater than sex)
It’s called football.soccer is completly different…
hey! im a girl and im a big fifa fan XD this rule doesnt only apply to women. it applies to everyone who doesnt take intrest the world cup. haha XD
Actually, people in America don’t care about soccer that much.
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